This shit happens to me— always. And leads to a mindfuck from every nook and corner. What exactly is the best way to deal with this heart-burning and savagery-inducing situation? Because believe it or not, you are going to find a bunch of these with an astonishing frequency. Yet, I cannot afford to lose my sleep due to some weirdo trying to stick it up my cerebral ass, trying to relieve their own anxieties. For all the good fellas out there with a squeaky clean conscience as far as the plague of backbitching is concerned, here are some kick-ass ways to dodge the fireballs thrown at you.
1) Ignore them aka DON’T GIVE A FUCK. The best and hardest way is to disregard the existence of people responsible for sapping your life energy. But sadly, it is easier said than done. An average mind has thousands of thoughts revolving in its own personal universe, and it’s bound to be filled with some shit, unless you are enlightened or something (in which case you won’t be reading this). To control your mind is to control your personal universe, which is called meditation (disclaimer: I have no clue about this). 99% of the world’s population suck at controlling their own minds. But you can always try to do a bit each day. Practice leads to perfection.
2) Don’t talk about them. Well, unless you played hide-and-seek in mud with pigs as a child. For sane folks, it didn’t make sense then, and it doesn’t make sense now. Period.
3) Don’t try to change them, because they won’t. People only hear what they want to hear. Everyone is trying to hold their shit together. Trying to throw some of yours towards somebody else is a strict no-no. It can turn to be a boomerang, and will surely be messy as hell.
4) Don’t even try to give them advice. You are not the spiritual guru that you think you are in your own sweet mind. Cut the crap and humbly state that you don’t have the ability/wisdom to say anything about the topic of discontention, or better yet, refer them to one of their kind so that they can have a sweet time together. Now you know that networking is not a bitch.
5) Be a diplomat. If the crappy one unfortunately happens to be your boss, you have to listen with a big smile of reverence on your face. But it is extremely rare, as back bitching always happen side-ways or up. Notice any trends here, eh?
These things are easier said than done and I’d prefer having a goal of running a half marathon instead of this. Practice being mindful, like a lotus in the midst of grit and mud. A couple of years from now with enough practice, you would be astonished at all the fucks you won’t give.
Posted by: Rohit Gupta